Thongs and Whitey Tighties
by lordofthepringles
Summary: Dave has a fantasy, which Kurt fulfills. Kurt and Dave PWP. SERIOUSLY. No plot to speak of. Just porn. Title is an inside joke from the GLEE RP.  This is dedicated to: Kurt from the RP Glee. I hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Apparently, his school had a special in service day for teachers and he decided it would be great to go back to his old stomping grounds and see everyone.

Unfortunately, that everyone included, Dave Karofsky who was forced to endure an entire day of Kurt Hummel.

He had been drinking a really crappy cappuccino he had picked up at a gas station on his way to school when he saw a familiar body sashaying down the halls. He nearly choke on his coffee when he saw him.

What the hell was Hummel doing there? He didn't go to school there anymore.

The entire day, Dave was on edge. He purposely avoided his locker, and any place he would accidentally run into Kurt.

But then they ended up in the same lunch period, and Dave was forced to endure watching Kurt suck a lollipop the entire time. It was graphic. His lips were bright cherry red and watching him work it in his mouth and working his tongue like that, gave Dave all sorts of filthy ideas and thoughts. By the end he had a raging hard on and was even more frustrated than ever before.

Then he showed up in his French class beside Mercedes and when Dave and Mercedes were paired up to go over verbs, Kurt joined them as well.

It was pure torture, sitting there reciting verbs and having Kurt watch him. He was unreadable to. There was no real emotion or telltale sign to indicate what Kurt was thinking. Just staring. It made him incredibly uncomfortable.

School was finally over then, and Dave made a beeline for the locker room to get ready for hockey practice.

He thought he was home free.

He went to practice, and when it was over nearly everyone left immediately. But Dave insisted on staying and skating a few more drills before he went home for the day.

It was now over an hour later. He was back in the locker and trying to get all his pads off and into the shower.

It had been a long and strenuous day. His muscles ached, his legs felt like jelly from skating so long, and he huge bruise on his thigh from taking a crushing hit during practice.

He ached everywhere and what he really longed for was a deep tissue massage, but he settled for a scalding hot shower to help relieve some of the tension he had been carrying all day.

He could barely move his arms, but he finally took a bit of soap and rubbed it into his hair. He let his arms fall to his side and he stepped under the stream of water pouring down.

The water felt amazing. It was sharp and hot and worked on the muscles in his neck and shoulders that were knotted up with tension.

He groaned a bit and flexed his neck.

His eyes still closed, he used some of the Axe body wash his mother insisted he carry with him and use before he returned home from any game or practice.

He worked the soap into his body. Starting with his torso. He rubbed the soap into his chest, over his nipples and down into his stomach. As his hands roamed and dipped lower, he could feel himself hardening.

The image of Kurt Hummel sucking on that lollipop popped into his head, and he groaned again, thankful no one was around to hear.

While, Dave, who was slowly but surely coming to terms with the fact that he was not completely straight, as he had so adamantly believed and wanted to be true, he still hated the type of reaction Kurt could cause in him.

The one guy he actually was attracted to and wanted, despised him and in fact ran away to another school because of him. So it was really unfortunate and rather annoying that he was the only fodder he could come up with for jacking off material.

Damnit though, he was hard and it was uncomfortable, and right now all he wanted was relief from all the tension, pressure, pain, and stress he was dealing with.

So he reached down and started to rub.

He called into instant replay the lewd and graphic details of Kurt licking and sucking on the head of the lollipop, and then pushing it in and out of his mouth.

He tried to hold back the moans but he couldn't help himself.

He started to pick up speed with his hand and reached out to brace the shower wall with his other hand.

His head was flung back as the water poured over his face and chest and he was reaching the brink rapidly.

Without thinking, he let the name of his enemy and greatest desire slip from his lips.

"Hummel…"

Suddenly he heard a reply,

"Was there something you needed Karofsky?"

Dave's hand stilled suddenly. His head popped up and he nearly fell over from shock.

He opened his eyes to see a very stoic Kurt Hummel standing in the middle of the locker room.

"Umm, no." Dave willed his erection and breathing to go down. Neither of which cooperated.

"Really? It sounded and looked like quite a fantasy you were having there."

Dave was barely able to choke out a response.

"What?"

"How often do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Jerk off to the thought of me."

"I don't."

"Really? Well I may have believed that if I didn't hear you say my name, _David_."

"Fine. So you caught me. What the hell are you doing in here anyway?"

"Glee practice, Mercedes and Rachel are having yet another diva off, and I was bored."

"So you decided to come into the boy's locker room?"

"I saw you come in after hockey practice."

"So what? You decided to follow me? Why?"

"Because I was curious."

"Curious about what?"

"Curious if I was right or not."

"About what?"

"Your body. But I was clearly wrong, David. You are not chubby at all."

Kurt grinned.

"You can only see the top of my chest, how are you sure about that?"

"The door is rather see through, Karofsky."

"Oh."

Dave was suddenly very embarrassed. There he was with his penis jutting gout, hard as a rock, and Kurt Hummel making fun of him."

"Alright, Hummel. It's very funny. You caught the in the closet jock jerking off to the thought of you. What are you going to do about it? Take a picture and spread it around? Blackmail me, what?"

"Actually, I was thinking maybe I'd offer you my help."

"Help? What kind of help?"

"Oh you know my hands, my lips, my tongue…"

Dave nearly did choke then,

"What?"

"Like I said, I'm curious."

"But, you hate me."

"I hated the idea of who you were and what you did, Dave. But I hear you are in therapy now and have actually gotten better since I left."

"And?"

"And I find that admirable. That you got help, plus I sort of lied that day when we were in here before."

"About what?"

By this time, Kurt was inching closer to Dave in the shower. Pieces of clothing coming off and being neatly stacked on the benches. He was now down to his boxers, and Dave could see he was already hard as well.

Kurt finally removed the last piece of his clothing and stepped into the shower.

He reached forward and lightly placed his hands on Dave's hips and reached up to whisper in his ear.

"About jocks not being my type, because they totally are."

Dave closed his eyes as he felt Kurt's fingertips pressing into his sides, his warm breath tickling his earlobe, and the hardness he felt pressed against hi thigh.

If this was a fantasy, it was the best one his brain ever came up with.

Then Kurt settled back on his feet, without removing his hand from Dave's hips and said,

"So what you were fantasizing about before?"

Dave looked down into Kurt's angelic face.

"You and that damned lollipop from lunch."

"Really? I didn't think you'd noticed."

"What?"

"You think I was just doing that for myself? I don't' like lollipops quite that much."

"Wait, what?"

"I was basically blowing it, and don't tell me you didn't notice, because I think this right here would prove otherwise."

Kurt's hands were suddenly on Dave's penis. He used both hands to lightly jerk and tug with one hand and the other hand rubbing patterns over it with his thumb.

Dave nearly fell over from the sensation.

"Kurt…"

"What?"

"That's not quite the fantasy I had."

"Oh really? Well then, Dave, tell me what your fantasy is."

"That you would be blow me like you did that lollipop."

"Hmmm, well if you insist, I'm going to need the water turned off."

Without hesitation and feeling somewhat blindly behind him, he turned the water off.

Kurt was slowly kneeling then, but as he slid down Dave's torso and legs, he refused to break contact.

Then Dave felt more than saw, Kurt reach out his tongue and run it lightly up and around his penis.

The feeling and sensation was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. His brain was trying to place the feeling, but it kept misfiring.

Dave's pupils were blown wide by this time. The only thing he could focus on was the bright red cherry lips that were sucking a lollipop earlier were wrapped around his cock, and all the things he had seen Kurt torturing him with before were actually doing it to his cock.

He knew that it was going to be over embarrassingly quick, but at that moment, all he cared about was finally getting release. The fact that he was getting it from the one person he fantasized about more than any other person in the world was the icing on the cake.

He could feel his orgasm start in his stomach, the familiar tension building into a power release.

He tried to warn Kurt, to pull him off, but he kept up the pace. He grinned and lightly scraped his teeth along his member, then chuckled. The vibrations of his throat and mouth on Dave's cock proved to be more than he could handle, and in a fit of lust and passion, he grabbed Kurt's hair and pulled him as close as possible and released down his throat.

He finally relaxed his fingers and Kurt pulled off him with a pop.

He licked the excess come off his lips and grinned.

He slid back up Dave's chest and around him.

He turned the water back on and told Dave to give him some of the soap he was using.

Dave was so confused, what had just happened?

He turned the water back on and let Kurt do whatever it was that he wanted.

When Kurt told him to get on his knees, he figured he was supposed to return the favor, but Kurt told him to turn around, and when his eyes flew open in apprehension and shock, Kurt giggled.

"Relax, Karofsky. We haven't reached that stage in our relationship. Yet."

_YET!_

Dave really just wanted to know what the hell was going on.

But then he felt Kurt's hand in his scalp giving him a massage. Kurt gently washed his face, and body, and then pressed his skillful and dexterous hands into his back and neck and shoulders. It was the best massage he had ever had in his life, and Kurt Hummel was giving it to him, immediately after giving him a blowjob.

_What the fresh hell?_

Then as soon as it began, Kurt was telling Dave to get up.

The shower was over and Kurt stepped out. He grabbed a towel from one of the racks, washed off, slipped his clothes back on, and was headed back toward the door before Dave's brain was functioning again.

"Get some rest tonight, Dave. Because I fully expect you to repay the favor. Oh, and I'll see you in class tomorrow. I'm transferring back."

He winked, smiled and was gone.

Dave slumped back against the shower.

He had no idea what was going to happen, but if what had just happened was any indication, life would never be boring with Kurt Hummel in it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This prequel was heavily inspired by the Glee RP on facebook. Most of this actually took place on January 16th on it. Kurt/Rachel spent the day together and hilarity ensued. Here is my paltry attempt at fleshing it out a little bit. And by fleshing it out, I mean more porn from Kurt's POV.

Thank you to Kurt, Dave, Brittany, Rachel, Mercedes, and all other participants for making that day so special! I hope you enjoy this! All the pictures are courtesy of our GleeRP on facebook!

Kurt and Rachel had just ended the day of shopping and hanging out. They were now in her room.

Her brightly colored, very gaudy room. She decorate much like she dressed, like a blind, old woman.

He sighed and started pulling items out of her closet that no person should wear, ever.

"Seriously, Rachel? A mustard yellow cardigan? When will you ever wear this?"

"To go with my brown plaid skirt!"

"No. This was ugly in the 80s when it was made. It's still ugly now."

"Oh, and I should trust you, considering you told me to dress like a clown hooker to woo Finn?"

"That is in the past, Rachel. I no longer have a thing for Finn. Right now I'm trying to save you any further ridicule and humiliation, and spare everyone's eyes."

"Fine. I'll get rid of the yellow cardigan."

"Also the brown plaid skirt. Why would anyone in their right mind wear that?"

"What? You can't get rid of my entire wardrobe!"

"I can! Besides, we just bought some new clothes. So try them on."

"Fine, but don't throw anything away until after I get done, okay?"

"Fine."

Rachel walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Kurt sat down at her computer and yelled at the closed door,

"Do you mind if check Facebook? Blaine told me he was going to send me a song to listen to for the Warblers."

"Sure, I don't think I'm signed in."

Kurt signed in and saw his feed. He had 27 new notifications since he last signed in.

Most of it was stupid Social Networking questions that Dave Karofsky, his bully and nemesis posted and in which fights started between Dave and Finn.

Then he saw Finn's profile picture. He looked like Harry Potter, but uglier. Seriously, he looked like he had let Rachel dress him.

He couldn't help but post on Finn's picture and ridicule him for it.

He couldn't help himself and typed,

Kurt felt somewhat bad for dissing Finn's outfit, but not having that atrocity staring back at him was better, especially when had other such hot pictures that he could choose from. Why in the name of Lady Gaga would he choose one so unattractive?

He went back to scrolling through his notifications when a picture he was not expecting to see popped up. In it was Dave Karofsky, looking extremely hot in hot pink. For some reason Brittany had tagged his name in a post with this picture.

_Damn. He looked hot. REALLY fucking hot. That chest and those arms. Damnit, Kurt. You are not supposed to find your torturer hot. No matter how good he looks in hot pink or how well he wears that shirt. _

He felt himself getting hard and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. There was no way he was getting hard from a picture of Karofsky. Just wasn't possible.

He suddenly heard Rachel coming out of the bathroom and hit the home button to go back to his newsfeed and covered his crotch with one of her show tunes magazines.

Then it caught his eye, Finn's new picture.

_Damn. He looked hot too. The way he filled out that t-shirt, his face, and those arms. _

If he thought, his erection was bad before it was now out of control and not going to dissipate.

He felt the air thicken and he felt as if his ascot was tightening around his neck. He was also sweating and trying to think of the unsexiest things he could.

_Rachel's wardrobe, his dad and Carol having sex, Rachel's wardrobe, hetero sex between anyone, Rachel's wardrobe._

As he closed his eyes, Dave in that hot pink shirt popped up and he felt his cock twitch.

_Nope. Definitely not working. Shit._

He tried to move again to ease some of the incredible pressure he was feeling.

Rachel watched him for a bit and then asked if he was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to use the restroom."

She just shook her head and he nearly sprinted in the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror for a bit and then groaned.

No amount of whisper yelling or willing his erection to go down was helping.

He kept seeing pictures of Finn, Blaine, Dave, and Sam pop into his head.

_WHY was his brain doing this to him now? Especially when he wasn't home, where he could handle it in private?_

He was nearly shaking with tension by that point and knew the only way forward was to power through it.

He needed to breathe, so he removed his ascot and shirt. He sat them aside and then reached into his pants.

He released his cock from the strain and grabbed some of the lotion sitting on the counter.

He bit his lip and lathered himself up.

He immediately closed his eyes and picture Finn then Blaine as he stroked.

Flashes of Dave in that hot pink shirt would pop up and every time he gasped and pulled a little harder.

_FUCK. WHY WON'T YOU GET OUT OF MY HEAD KAROFSKY?_

He desperately tried to push any and all pictures and images of Dave out of his head and it was working great.

He had a nice pace going and could tell he was about ready to come, when a completely unwarranted and unexpected vision of Karofsky on his knees with that hot pink shirt open, showing his broad muscly and hairy chest, and his lips around Kurt's cock, doing something with his tongue that caused Kurt's toes to curl up and him to come with a low shuddering grunt. He nearly fell backward from the power of his orgasm as it ripped through him.

His eyes flew open. He had come harder than he had ever in his entire life.

He tried to brace himself on the sink but he was too shaky.

His eyes were still blown wide and truth be told the idea of Karofsky wasn't as evil and vile as he had originally tried to tell himself.

_Seriously, what the hell brain? What are you doing to me? You couldn't have made it Blaine, the guy I'm in love with? Even Finn would've been better. Damn._

He took shallow breaths and eventually calmed down enough to fix himself.

Until he realized he had come everywhere. His pants and underwear were a mess and there was no way he could get out of Rachel's room, back to his house and into his bedroom to change without someone noticing.

_FUCK._

He wasn't sure how to react. He had an ingenious idea to somehow make it look like the sink had exploded all over him. He took his pants and underwear and threw water all over them, so that he could at least maintain some of his dignity.

Suddenly he heard a knock on the door.

"Are you okay, Kurt? I thought I heard a crash?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Hold on. Your sink just exploded all over me, so now my underwear and pants are soaked and I looked like I peed myself."

"Oh no! That's never happened to me before. Umm, let me go get my dads. Maybe one of them has something you could wear!"

"Great!"

Kurt sat in the bathroom for a few for minutes trying to decipher why exactly he kept imagining Karofsky when he jacked off.

Finally, he heard another knock. 

"Uhh, Kurt. Sorry, but my dads are both bigger than you and you'd be swimming in their clothes. But um I think you and I are about the same size. Maybe you could wear something of mine!"

Kurt groaned and placed his face in his hands.

_Could this day get any worse?_

"Uhh, what do you have to wear?"

"Well, you could always wear the brown plaid skirt you were complaining about."

"Fuck you, Rachel."

"I wasn't trying to be mean, Kurt. I think it's one of the things that would actually fit you."

He opened the door and held out his hand.

Rachel placed two items in it.

One was the brown plaid skirt and a pair of Strawberry Shortcake underwear.

"Seriously? Strawberry Shortcake Underwear?

"Yeah, it's the largest pair I have!"

"Fine. But if this ever gets out, I'm going to kill you!"

"Don't worry, Kurt. How would this ever get out?"

Kurt slipped on the skirt and the underwear. This day was going to go down in infamy as one of the weirdest and worst days of his entire life.

The rest of the day he spent with the Berry's went fine, other than a little incident known as Rachel taking a video and sending it to Mercedes who sent it to Brittany who sent it to the entire fucking school including Karofsky.

That led to another can of worms, and later that night as Kurt was lying in his bed back at home, he jerked off. This time he didn't even bother trying to keep Karofsky out. He invaded his dreams too.

The following day he had off from Dalton because of an in service teacher day. So he was still at home in Lima. He made a decision to go visit his old friends. When he walked in Dave was wearing that hot pink shirt again. He made a decision right then and there, by the end of the day; he was going to find out if reality was as good as his fantasies.


	3. Chapter 3

A week and a half passed. Dave and Kurt said not one word to each other. Then on a Tuesday in January, there was a home a hockey game and their coach told them if they didn't dress up on that day, they'd be benched. So, Dave wore black fitted dress pants, black patent leather shoes, and his hot pink dress shirt. His mom commented on how cute he looked.

He just shrugged her off and went to school. He hated dressing up on game days, especially when he had a group presentation in French class with Mercedes that day.

He walked into school and saw Azimio at the end of the hall. Azimio made a wolf whistle at him and Dave flipped him off.

He headed to homeroom and found a seat near the back.

He was staring out the window waiting for the bell to ring when Kurt walked in.

They had barely said two words to each other since the episode in the locker room and Dave was always on edge around Kurt waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He caught Kurt's eye. He saw something unrecognizable pass over Kurt's face, who then grinned and winked at him.

Kurt took a seat a few rows over and Dave was left to wonder what the hell that look meant for the rest of the period.

French class came and he and Mercedes got up and did their presentation, Kurt stared at him the entire time, all the while licking his lips and smiling at him.

He had no idea what was going on with Kurt, but this was definitely different than he had ever responded to him before.

He could feel his face starting to flush and Kurt recognized the visible signs of arousal from Dave. He continued to grin wider and wider as he watched Dave squirm at the front of the room.

Dave hated what Kurt could do to him with only one look.

At the end of the period, he ran to the locker room. It was lunchtime and he desperately needed to get rid of the damn hard on he had before going to join his friends.

He was about to head into a stall, when he heard the door open.

He turned around to see Kurt stalking in.

"Hummel?"

"Shut up Karofsky."

Kurt pushed Dave into one of the showers.

"What the fuck, Hummel?"

"You know what drives me fucking crazy?"

"What?"

"When you wear that fucking shirt."

"Really? My shirt?"

"Do you have any idea how fucking hot you look with it on?"

"Uhh, no."

"Seriously, Dave. Every time you wear it I just want to push you into the nearest empty room and fuck you."

"Seriously?"

Dave's heart was racing. He couldn't believe Kurt's candor or the fact that a fucking pink shirt turned him on so much.

"I think I'm ready for that favor to be returned, David."

He slid his hands into his pants and pulled the shirt out.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything in my entire life."

Kurt opened Dave's shirt and slid his fingers through his fine hair.

"God, you have a gorgeous chest."

"Really?"

"Really._ Jesus_, you're fucking hot."

He pushed Dave to his knees.

"This is the fantasy I've had ever since I saw that damn picture on Facebook."

"What?"

"You on your knees with your shirt open and my cock in your beautiful lips."

"I've uhh never done that before."

"Don't worry, Dave. I'll talk you through it."

He unzipped his pants, and pulled his cock out.

He then grabbed the back of Dave's head and pulled it to him.

"We'll start out by licking. Just lick up the underside of my penis."

Dave swallowed nervously then reached forward. He wasn't sure what the taste would be like, but this was Kurt offering himself to him and he would not turn that down.

He tentatively stuck his tongue out and ran it up the underside of Kurt's cock.

He figured he must've done it right because Kurt groaned.

"Oh God. Yeah, that's it. Do that again."

Dave tried it again and this time savored the taste. It wasn't all that bad actually.

Kurt started talking again, but Dave took Kurt's hand off his cock.

"I've received head before, Kurt. I think I can figure out how to do it."

Kurt's eyes flew open in surprise, but just nodded.

He took Kurt in his mouth then. He swirled his tongue up and around the tip of his head and hollowed his cheeks. He put his hand at the base of Kurt's cock and started bobbing up and down.

He had his hands on Kurt's ass pulling him closer. He could feel Kurt clenching and unclenching his muscles and started moaning low in his throat.

Dave looked up to see Kurt's head thrown back in ecstasy and his fingers pinching his nipples.

Dave chuckled in his throat and Kurt's hand went to the back of Dave's head.

"Fuck that feels so good. Are you sure you've never done this before?"

Dave just chuckled again, and the sound Kurt made sent a shock straight to his groin.

Dave decided to see if he could push Kurt over the edge, and offered two of his fingers to Kurt.

Kurt took them in his mouth without hesitation.

When they were good and wet, he removed his fingers and moved them to Kurt's hole. He inserted one finger in and started thrusting back and forth. Then he added a second and curled his fingers inside.

He knew he must've hit his prostate because Kurt nearly howled, grabbed Dave's hair and pulled his head to be flush with him, and then was coming down the back of his throat all the while chanting his name.

Dave pulled off and looked up at Kurt. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily.

Kurt reached down and pulled Dave up to him. He kissed him hard and nipped at his lower lip.

Dave responded just as enthusiastically and they made out against the wall of the shower.

Finally, Kurt stepped back.

"Where the fuck did you learn to do that?"

"It's called porn, Kurt."

"So, you're into porn huh?"

"As much as any other normal guy is."

"Well, there is always the issue of your hard on. I mean you did come in here after all to take care of it, no?"

"You are a cruel individual, Kurt. Getting me hot and bothered and not letting me come."

"Don't worry, Dave. Let's take care of that for you."

With that, Kurt had turned Dave around and bent Dave over.

He unzipped Dave's pants pushed them down to his knees, and was pushing his boxers down.

He bent down and Dave wasn't sure what was going on.

Then he felt Kurt spread his cheeks and could feel warm breath on his hole.

_Oh God_. _He's not seriously, going to…_

Then he felt Kurt's tongue gently lapping at his hole.

Dave put his hand against the wall to brace himself and pushed his face into his arm.

"Oh God, fuck, Kurt."

Kurt continued to lap around his hole and directly over it.

Then Kurt reached around and grasped Dave's cock.

He started jerking along with his tongue movements.

"Jesus, fucking Christ, Hummel. You bitch. Don't stop."

Dave felt like such a slut. But he was feeling things he didn't even know was possible.

Then Kurt was thrusting his tongue into him, and he fell apart.

He couldn't remember how to breathe, what his own name was, or where he was, but he was coming hard over Kurt's hand and the shower wall. He shuddered through the last of it, Kurt's tongue still in his ass.

"Fuck, Kurt. That was.."

"What? The best thing you've ever felt?"

"Yeah."

He turned around and kissed Kurt. He didn't even care at that moment.

Kurt kissed him back. The faint sound of a bell ringing.

The quickly broke apart and fixed their clothes.

Kurt fixed Dave's shirt and winked at him as he finished.

"I'll see you later, Dave. Good luck with your game tonight."

He left the locker room looking just as good as he had before anything happened.

Dave splashed some water on his face and left the room.

Later that night the team won 6-2,and he was so excited.

He got a text from an unknown caller.

_Good win. Maybe I'm your good luck charm._

He knew instantly it was Kurt. He responded.

_I think so. I think we should do this before every game._

He didn't have to wait long until he got another text,

_Maybe if you play your cards right we can do this before and after every game. _

Then a picture message came through.

It was a picture of Kurt wearing one of his practice jerseys.

FUCK.

Dave had no idea what caused this sudden change in his relationship with Kurt, but he didn't even care. His goal in life was to fuck Kurt wearing that jersey.

He sent back a picture of him wearing nothing but the hot pink shirt and his rock hard cock.

As he was about to fall asleep he got one last text.

_You play dirty. You had better expect to pay for it tomorrow._

_You first._

~Fin


End file.
